I scheduled my mammogram right after Thanksgiving this year. Even though I tell myself, “I know what you’re doing!” I still generally start about a week out from these twice yearly rituals getting worked up about cancer again. I play over my diagnosis from my first mammogram, I relive that particularly horrible week following the first mammogram after I finished treatment for breast cancer when suspicious calcifications sent me back for a biopsy (fortunately all was benign) and once when the notes from the screener left me thinking the cancer was back and I couldn’t get anyone on the phone to talk to me to confirm or deny….but it was nothing. So, as to inoculate myself to the bad news I might get, I run through all the possibilities in my head and remind myself that I have everything I need in life and cancer cannot touch that security. I know who I am in God’s family and in my world. But still, scheduling my mammo when I will have very little time to worry because these days are filled to overflowing with family and thanksgiving and love and sharing then shopping and eating and laughing and working was a very good idea.

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